Chatty cashier

I've been meaning to blog about this for a few days, and finally have time. 

  

I went to the grocery store last Saturday night--we were having company for Sunday dinner and had no food in the house! (We didn't want to actually have the company for dinner! ) 

  

At the register, I got a chatty cashier.  In fact, it took her forever to ring up the man in front of me, because she was talking so much.  Then it was my turn, and she just transferred the conversation to me!  Truth be told, I wasn't in a very chatty mood    ( Okay, those of you who know me IRL can pick yourselves up now!), so I kind of  un-uh'd my way through the conversation, praying that she'd pick up the pace. 

  

When I was getting my receipt (and the next person in line was close enough for the cashier to address both of us), the cashier started telling us about a customer that she'd had.  The woman had her child with her.  The woman was upset because she couldn't get a certain product, or something wasn't on sale, or something like that.  At any rate, the woman was upset and then her child did something that the woman didn't like (no idea what, kids can be so creative I don't want to begin to guess!) and the mom actually got in the little girls face and was mean to her. 

  

Well, this cashier just could not believe it.  She was mortified that the mom would act that way. (My reaction: the customer was probably so aggravated at having to wait so long in the check-out line, she was just lashing out at anyone in a 20 ft. radius!)  The customer behind me jumped right in, and made the comment that made ME want to post about this!  "If she acts like that in public, I can only imagine what it's like in their home!" 

  

I have a problem with this comment.  

  

Disclaimer: I frequently get upset with my lovely dear children in stores, so this may just me being defensive, but bear with me. 

  

What in the world does a mom getting upset in the grocery store, Wal-Mart, WHEREVER, have anything at all to do with how she treats her children at home?  I understand that there could be a correlation, and I'm completely for treating children well, but here's the scenario I envision: 

  

at the checkout (but not up to the register yet!): 

   

Kid: Mom, can I have a candy bar? (5th time question has been asked) 

Mom:  I already said no, you just had a piece of cheese at the deli counter, and we're having dinner when we get home. 

Kid (touching every piece of candy & gum): Pleeeeaase????  I promise I'll eat my dinner? 

Mom (through gritted teeth): I said no, now stop touching the candy. 

Kid: I'm just putting pieces where they go.  See? Someone messed them all up.  I'm starving! 

Mom (voice raising slightly): Put your hands in your pockets! I said not to touch them! 

Kid (used the fabric of their jacket pocket--with hands in them--to touch candy) 

Mom firmly moves child away from the candy. 

Kid: What are we doing when we  get home?  What's for dinner?  When will Daddy be home?  (5,000th question asked since leaving the house to go to the store) Child takes hands out of pockets and starts touching all of the food on the conveyer belt and the magazines in racks. 

Mom: Put your hands back in your pockets, I don't know when Daddy will be home (do I ever??), we're having spaghetti... 

Kid interrupts: Not pasta, I don't want pasta! 

Mom (headache forming right behind her eyeballs): Too bad, that is what I planned--stop hanging on me!! (having already given about 10 hugs since entering store) 

At the actual register, child proceeds to ask the cashier 20 questions, charming the cashier, but just aggravating the mom who really just wants the child to stand still and be quiet for the last 3 minutes of the errand! 

After paying, child tries to ride the carriage (after being told not to a half-dozen times) and the mom loses it:  I TOLD you not to do that--LOOK at me--be quiet--NO, I DO NOT WANT ANOTHER WORD--and follow me to the car! 

   

Mom and child leaves while cashier shakes her head in wonder at how a mom could speak so harshly to such an angelic child. 

   

To protect the guilty, I will not mention which section of this scene belongs to which of my children.... 

  

My point is just this: if you see a mom being "mean" (and obviously, I have no idea how mean the mom in the cashier's story was actually being), it may just mean that she's had a really rough day with the child to begin with, and this little episode just pushed her over the edge.  It doesn't mean that when she gets home she'll beat the child!  It may be that the ride home will calm them both down, and the child will help mom with dinner preparations, and then they'll snuggle up and read a story while the pasta boils! (I mean, this doesn't happen at my house, but I have a vivid imagination! LOL) 

  

I would worry more if a mom I knew never got upset at her child in public.  All that frustration bottled up until their in private?  It makes me think of all of the stories I've heard about "perfect marriages" only to find out that the husband was beating the snot out of his wife when they were at home.  But in public was the picture of a loving relationship.  

  

A mom who never gets upset (I'm not talking about abuse here, people!) with her kids just doesn't ring true to me.  We all do--I'm just leery of the people who try to hide it.  I absolutely think that we should all be doing our best to control our emotions, words & actions (I'm thinking of the book of James).  I also know that I love my kids to distraction, and yet have been driven on occasion to hiss, "SHUT UP!" to them, when I've already asked them 20 times to stop talking (and for whatever reason they're not obeying me--I don't want to make it sound like my kids are monsters, they're not). 

  

I wanted to explain this to the cashier and add, "But I'm happy to know that if I do lose my temper with my child at your register, you will then gossip about it to your other customers!"  I didn't.  I just said thank-you and went home to my family.