A life in an envelope

This is the tote that I keep all of the kids' baby stuff in.  Blankies that friends made for us, handprints, etc.

 In this box is an envelope that has all of the things that we have from Abigail's short life.  It all fits in one 10x13 envelope.

It contains one of the three Polaroid pictures that the nurses took.  It still boggles my mind that we didn't think to take our own pictures.

Proof of a life.  I remember being so grateful to get her birth certificate.  Concrete evidence that she was here. She existed.  The card from her bassinet at the hospital, her Social Security card....and the newspaper clipping of her obituary.

The tiny, pink knitted cap that she wore--something that actually touched her perfect little head.

And? A tape of her heartbeat?  I didn't even remember that it was in here, and I don't think we have a tape recorder that we can play it on.  But it's here. 

The balloons that my sister brought me, before she knew that Abigail had died.  I remembered the 'Get Well Soon' balloon, but started crying when I saw the 'World's Greatest Mom' one--the were stuck together, and  I had completely forgotten that it was there.

Receipts from Abigail's 2nd and 3rd birthdays for flowers & balloons that we brought to the cemetery with the kids.  I don't even remember slipping them into her envelope--kind of funny things to keep, but I guess it was just proof that we had done something to remember her.

Ultrasound pictures!  The one on the left is actually a straight-on face shot, the other two are the classic profile shots.  They're from the end of the pregnancy.

This must have been one of the first ultrasound pictures we got, sometime in July '95.  It's an actual film, which is why it looks like there's a glowing orb in my uterus--that's the light I held the film up to, in order to take a picture. :)

A letter from a woman that I had gone to school with. She was a few years ahead of me, so I wasn't close friends with her.  She took the time, though, to send this letter with a beautiful angel ornament that we hang on our tree every year.  It was such a thoughtful gesture.

I threw away all of the sympathy cards that we received--I regret this now; but it was too painful to see them all--but I still have the card this woman sent me. I wish I could tell her now how much it meant to me.

Here's our certificate that says that we completed Childbirth Classes at Kent County Memorial Hospital.  I'm sure I didn't remember a thing once I was actually giving birth!

Ah, the letter saying that I didn't have to work anymore! :)  Once my regular ob/gyn transferred me to a high-risk doctor, they didn't want me working--I only did office temp work anyway.  But I did go into pre-term labor 9 days later, so I guess they had the right idea.

Wow--I haven't looked at this in a long time.  Poor baby--she really didn't have a chance.  Her diaphragmatic hernia was so severe--her little lungs had no room to grow.

Footprints, a thumbprint and a teeny bit of Abigail's brown hair.  We had a lovely Christmas ornament made the next year with her footprint etched on it--taken from this paper.

The only gift we received when Abigail was alive--a tiny outfit that our three other kids went on to wear.  A friend from our church was moving, and wanted to give us a gift, since she wouldn't be around once Abby was born.

That's it.  Her whole life.  Her whole life on earth, that is.  She is waiting for us in Heaven, where she is perfect and whole and healthy and safe.

I cannot wait for the day when we're reunited for eternity.  

Happy Sweet Sixteen, my precious daughter!  We love you so much, Abigail!